The End As Interlude

“The End as Interlude” was originally planned as part of the cancelled “A Melancholic Melody / A Will To An End – A series of works by Ligia Lewis”. Instead of speaking on the stage of HAU2, the artist and theorist Jota Mombaça has written a text that we will publish in three episodes on HAU3000 until the end of the season. Based on world events in times of the Corona pandemic, Mombaça conceives a diffuse future, one in which borders, escape and freedom of thought play a central role.

The center of a storm is quiet contemplation.
Odete

“Sleep tight, baby girl, and do not wake up before the end.”

I could not identify to whom that message was addressed, but the voice was familiar.

“Think about a silent earthquake. How long does it take for it to be perceived, and what does it break before even being noticed? That's how we need to act now.”

Was it talking to me, or was I intercepting a message? If it was coming from someone in The Community, I had to shut it down. There was no other choice. From my confinement, while attached to the drill, I posed a risk to whatever operation the voice seemed to be planning.

***

“We lost Adama. I can no longer reach her pulse,” Khalil's voice stormed into the network.

“She must have forced disconnection again. Shit! I can't reach her either. Why does she always have to be so self-sacrificial?”

Adama was kidnapped in 2025, while she was trying to flee from Europe to meet Khalil in Morocco. We weren’t expecting that. She was always the most careful of the three of us. After that, I had no other choice but to hide. Frontex also knew about me, though only partially. They knew about my telepathic ability, but they were not aware of the fact that, unlike Adama and Khalil, I could also shapeshift.

My name is Elsi, by the way. I am the youngest of the three of us.

After Adama’s arrest, we decided to close the route to Morocco, so I had no safe way to leave Europe. To exit the continent via a regular path would be too risky. There are so many forms of control right now. They can even check your DNA if they decide you’re not traveling regularly, and even if I can change my appearance at the molecular level, I am always the same. What I do is more like formal editing than a deep reconfiguration.

It’s 2028 now – two years since I moved to Warsaw. Khalil was scared I would get in trouble here, but we both agreed I had to come closer to Frontex’s main base. We assumed they were keeping Adama here, and our idea was to reach her from a closer distance.

We were right about her being here, but it wasn’t easy to reach her anyway. At first, we thought Frontex was blocking my telepathic investments somehow. We knew about their anti-telepathy drugs, but we were dealing with something different. I could sense Adama’s presence, but she was utterly disconnected as if there were a massive, overwhelming wall between her and me.

It wasn’t Frontex. I had managed to break through Frontex’s walls as soon as I infiltrated one of their agentes’ consciousness and established a link within their base. I inserted a pulse there, hoping Adama would catch it and find a way to pulse back, but it never properly happened. The pulse remained active though, for we believe she became aware of it and decided to keep it hidden.

But now we’ve lost her again. And the operation seems to have been exposed suddenly.

I might be in danger.

Shit!

There’s nowhere to go. In the last couple of years, the entire territory of Poland became an LGBT ideology-free zone along with Hungary, Austria, Czech Republic, and part of Germany. This process is deeply connected with the hardening of anti-immigration laws since the whole persecution of queer forms of life is related to the wrongful perception of LGBT-related discourses as a plague imported to these territories. These borders are now even worse than the UK border, and, as soon as Frontex realizes that the pulse was inserted from within the zone, they’ll declare immediate lockdown.

I’m spiraling… I can't stay here, but I have nowhere to go.

I sense Khalil’s telepathic presence approaching me. He whispers, “I won’t leave you,” and I immediately know that I need to run. I burn part of my stuff, throw the rest in a bag, and transform into a white, cisgender man. Before leaving my place, I reach for my neighbors, and I telepathically suggest that the apartment where I have lived for the last two years was empty all this time. It doesn’t hurt them. They’re completely unaware of my activity within their consciousness, but there is still a certain risk to me, for telepathy always leaves traces, and traces can be tracked.

Police are everywhere. It's raining, the weather is awful, there’s almost no one in the streets, and I have no idea where to go. I can't risk renting places right now, so I jump on a bus to the other side of the city without knowing where I might spend the night. Everyone stares when I get in and I’m paralyzed for a second, forgetting that my appearance is now that of a white, cisgender man. My body aches, and I drown in anxiety. Nothing can rescue me now. However, I scream, in telepathic waves, “ADAMA!”

“ADAMA! I know you can sense me…! ADAMA! Listen! You owe me that! Listen to me, MOTHER!”

Khalil is the only one to respond, “You're attracting too much attention right now!”

Even the people on the bus seem to be caught by the intensity of my waves. I can't stay here anymore. “Jump off at the next stop, find an empty place, squat there for a while” – Khalil speaks as softly as he can.

I ignore him, screaming again: “ADAMA!!!!!”

My body hardened in tension. Everyone could see that I was losing control of myself. I listened to some people suggesting I’m overdosing on something. When I finally manage to focus on the people around me, they are already beginning to rant and to demand the driver expel me from the bus. Uncontrolled as I am, I simply cut them off, telepathically. I can see their faces fading, except the driver, who I keep awake for driving the bus until at least the next stop, where I finally get off.

“What are you trying to do?”

“I need her!”

“You need to calm down!”

“DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!”

I can sense things around me, shaking with the strength of the waves I’m releasing. People in their homes are getting startled; some of them are coming to their windows to check whether the world is still peaceful. It looks peaceful at first sight, but one needs just a few more seconds to notice the storm that is forming in the sky above us.

I search in the apartments around me for an empty unit. I find one. I just need to unlock the door of the building first. I’m too nervous about doing it correctly, so I make a huge mess, and now I can feel the people in the building becoming more anxious about their security. Someone will call the police soon. 

“ADAMAAA!!!”

This time is different. Something waves back.

“Adama?”

No, there’s nobody on the other side of the link. I can’t understand the force that I’m sensing, but it feels like the memory of something that is about to happen – not from an event in the past. By focusing on it, I can feel it’s activity still unfolding, moving things around me. The people in the building seem to be affected by it too. They all fall asleep, and I also feel a certain drowsiness taking over my body. It doesn't feel like an attack. I feel… protected. I begin to relax.

“Adama? Are you doing that?”

Khalil answers, “I still can't reach her…”

“Are you sensing that?”

“Yes.”

“What do you think it is?”

“I have a hint.”

Khalil goes silent for a while.

The anxiety is no longer the only force governing my attitude, and I manage to breathe, inhaling air, and exhaling for opening up emotional space to deal with the problems I’m about to have.

Frontex is aware of my presence in the city. The agent I had possessed for inserting the pulse is now de-linked. They might have found out everything about my plan to contact Adama before breaking the connection.

There’s nowhere to run, and I have already attracted too much attention with all my telepathic shouts. It’s just a matter of time until they find me here, and, when they do, I won’t have a chance. They’ll come with their telepathic blockers, so I won't be able to reach any of them. They’ll sedate and kidnap me, as they did to Adama. That is if they decide I’m worthy enough to be kept alive. I need to think fast.

“You need to stop thinking, baby girl...”

“Adama?”

“A manifestation of her, yes.”

“I don't know if I understand what you are saying…”

“You don’t need to. At least not right now. You just need to calm down.”

“Why y’all keep asking me to do that? Don’t you see what’s going on around me? I’m fucked!”

“I see you’re damned, baby girl. I’ve been watching you closely the whole evening.”

“What? Who are you anyway? Where’s Adama?”

“I told you I’m a manifestation of Adama…”

“Ok, bitch, then bring me the real you ‘cause I don't have time for this bullshit!”

“Why you always have to be so stubborn? Listen! You’re missing the whole point.
You need to calm down ‘cause you can't stay where you are. Right now, your anxiety is growing energetic roots under your feet, holding you to the ground, and messing with everything around you. Telepathy is not about thoughts, baby girl. It’s energy bending. If you keep rooting yourself like this, you’ll not just raise a flag for Frontex’s surveillance system, but you’ll sink the whole building in the process.”

“But how do I do it? I feel myself sinking…”

“That’s what I’m talking about! You need to stop sinking the way you are.”

“HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THAT?”

“You sure you gonna raise your voice to your MOTHER?”

“Sorry…”

“Enough of this drama! Now focus on hiding and do it fast! I’ll show you how!”

Adama took possession of me gently. At first, it felt like she was singing to me, but soon I realized she was guiding my energy, dissipating the energetic roots I had carelessly planted under my feet. I knew what I needed to do the moment I surrendered to her influence.

I felt the massive amount of energy I was using to press the ambience back into my body. I would never be able to hold that amount of raw power without Adama. Together, we channeled all that through the window, pointing to the eye of the storm. I knew that that would erase my body from Warsaw, making it impossible for Frontex to find me, but where would I go?

From within, Adama felt my reluctance and said, “You won't die, baby girl. You'll just need some time to be formed again.”

“And what about you?”

“I’m long gone, Elsi! A few hours ago, I used the energy of the pulse you sent me to sink the whole unit where I was held. I destroyed their stupid research lab, and so I paid the price. My body died there… I had no other choice. I also knew it would put you in danger, so I split and left one part to die there and the other to come looking for you.”

“No… No…! We could have helped you! Why do you always have to be the bitch who saves other bitches? Why do you never let other people save you?”

“But you are saving me. Don't you see it? Right now, this conversation is the only place in the whole universe where I exist.”

“What does it mean?”

“It means that if you live, I live!”

Pause.

“Ok, Mother… I got you!”

“I know you got me. Now sleep tight, baby girl, and don’t wake up before the end.”

The End As Interlude, Episode 1: The Silent Earthquake
The End As Interlude, Episode 3: Interlude